So this is a contentious issue for girls and guys using POF. Should girls reply to a message they are sent?

So lets start with the facts. Girl’s are sent numerous messages on POF. I have written a previous article on how to reduce or sort through these messages quickly in ‘Writing an original POF profile’.

So with so many messages should girl’s only reply to the messages they want to?

Lets break the types of messages down into those you should reply to and those you shouldn’t reply to.

Should Reply To

We will get to rude and abusive messages later. But why should a girl reply to a message even if she isn’t interested? Because the time it takes for a guy to read your profile, think of the message to send and then write it takes longer then for you to read and reply ‘Thanks for the message, but in reading your profile I don’t think we’re compatible. I wish you well in your search.” You can save this in your phone to copy and paste to save you time.

  1. Firstly, a girl at any time has the right, like any guy, to say thanks but not interested to continue corresponding. For example “Thanks for the message, but I don’t feel we’re compatible. Best of luck with your search”
  2. A first message that is not abusive or rude.
  3. A message that is not abusive or rude but you don’t want to continue correspondence. No one likes ‘Ghosting’ where someone sends a message but no longer hears from the person.
  4. You have met someone in the time of communicating. Let them know you have found someone you are wanting to pursue a relationship with and no longer wish to communicate with them. For example “I just wanted to let you know I have found someone I am now seeing, so will no longer be corresponding with you. I wish you well in your search.”
  5. Messages that go no where. Yes, the messages that go on for weeks and don’t lead to anything as a request to meet or talk. Don’t ghost the person. Let them know you are no longer interested in messaging them and wish them well in their search.


Shouldn’t Reply to

Firstly, this is using the dating app messaging service. If you give out your phone number then this is different. I suggest you use the app Kik for providing them your Kik username to message you. When you feel confident to give them your phone number then do so.

  1. Rude and abusive messages. Straight forward you don’t need to reply to these. But if you do let them know you don’t appreciate their being rude and abusive, I suggest to let that be the last message and then block them to stop receiving any more. Guys and girls can interpret humor as being okay to use rude or abusive language or it can be misinterpreted through texts. But playing it safe and not replying is fine.
  2. Requests for pictures, dic pics, or vulgar language. Simply put this is not tolerable. Block them and don’t bother responding. I admit guys send late night drunk messages and we think with the head attached to our waist without filtering the action with the head attached to our shoulders. Respect is key. Again, you can reply saying you don’t appreciate the message and then block them to save a reply retort.
  3. Scammer. It’s pretty simple to understand why.
  4. A message with just ‘hi’. Yes, a guy didn’t put in the effort. But also refer to my article ‘Writing an original POF profile’ on how you can reduce guys from sending these.

2 thoughts on “POF messaging etiquette- Should I reply?

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